The Combined Therapeutic Power of IFS and EMDR: Is it for you?
There are so many types of therapy nowadays. Many of us are juggling multiple roles—professional, parent, partner, friend—all while striving to be the best versions of ourselves. It’s no wonder we sometimes feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disconnected from who we truly are. This is where the combination of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be a game-changer.
In this post, I’ll explain how these therapeutic modalities work, how they can help you navigate life’s challenges, and how you can start using them in your daily routine to stay grounded and aligned with your true self.
Understanding IFS: An Overview
IFS was developed by family therapist Richard Schwartz. IFS stands for 'Internal Family Systems' and views the mind as a system of parts, each with its own role and function.
These parts are not just random thoughts or emotions—they’re aspects of you that have developed over time, often in response to life experiences.
Meet Your Parts:
Managers are the parts that keep you organized, driven, and prepared, often making sure you’re on top of everything.
Firefighters come in to protect you when you’re overwhelmed, often through distractions or impulsive behaviours.
Exiles are the parts that carry pain, fear, or shame, usually hidden away to protect you from feeling vulnerable.
At the core of IFS is the belief that we all have a Self—a calm, compassionate, and wise centre. When we’re connected to our Self, we can lead our lives with clarity and balance, even amid chaos.
A Winning Combination:
Many people have heard of EMDR, a trauma therapy that, while it may sound unconventional, has proven to be incredibly effective. It’s been gaining popularity on platforms like TikTok and other social media, where countless individuals share how it has helped them finally break free from the grip of their past. EMDR has become a game-changer, enabling people to process and heal from deeply rooted traumas that once seemed insurmountable.
By integrating EMDR with IFS, you can work through not only the traumatic memories but also the internal conflicts and protective mechanisms of your parts.
For busy people like you, this combination can help you:
Release Past Burdens: EMDR helps to process and neutralize painful memories, allowing your parts to let go of the past.
Restore Inner Balance: IFS helps you to understand and heal the relationships between your parts, so they no longer have to take over in challenging situations.
How Do You Know If IFS Is Right for You? If you find yourself:
Juggling Too Many Roles: Feeling pulled in different directions by different parts of you—like the high-achiever at work, the perfectionist at home, or the caretaker in relationships.
Experiencing Internal Conflicts: Struggling with decisions because one part wants something and another wants the opposite.
Reacting in Surprising Ways: Having intense emotional reactions that seem out of proportion, like sudden anger or overwhelming sadness.
Then IFS might be the approach that can help you understand these dynamics and find greater ease.
Too Many 'Hats?': Viewing Your Experiences Through the Parts Lens
How can you relate to this? It’s normal to feel like you’re wearing different hats—after all, you are! Each of these “hats” represents a different part of you. But sometimes, a part can take over, and it can feel like you’re not in control.
For example:
The Workaholic Part might push you to keep working late into the night, driven by a fear of failure or a need to prove yourself.
The “Fear of Judgment” part might hold you back from sharing your ideas in meetings or taking on visible roles, preferring to stay in the background. This part is trying to protect you from potential criticism or rejection, believing that by not drawing attention to yourself, you can avoid the pain of being judged or misunderstood.
The "Perfect Parent" part might react strongly and yell at your kids when they’re relaxing after school instead of doing their homework. This part’s intention is to protect them from future struggles, fearing that if they don’t stay on top of their responsibilities now, they might face difficulties later in life.
The Inner Critic might keep you in a cycle of self-judgment, telling you that you’re never good enough.
The Protector Part might shut down your emotions to keep you from feeling vulnerable.
Recognizing these parts can be a game-changer.
Instead of being hijacked by them, you can start to listen and understand their intentions. Most of the time, they’re trying to protect you in some way.
Integrating IFS and EMDR Into Your Daily Life:
You don’t need a lot of time to start using IFS principles in your everyday routine. Here are some simple practices to help you stay connected to your true Self:
1. Morning Check-In:
Take five minutes in the morning to ask yourself, “Who’s here today?” Notice which parts of you are active. Maybe the Planner is already thinking about the to-do list, or the Worrier is concerned about an upcoming meeting. Just acknowledging these parts can bring a sense of calm.
2. Pause and Reflect:
When you feel a strong reaction, pause and ask yourself, “Is this me, or is this a part?” This can help you step back and respond from your Self, rather than reacting from a triggered part.
3. Create a Safe Space:
Just like you would in an EMDR session, imagine a safe, calming place in your mind where your parts can rest. When things get overwhelming, invite your parts to this space and reassure them that they’re safe.
4. Compassionate Dialogue:
If you notice a part taking over—like a perfectionist or a procrastinator—try talking to it. Ask, “What are you trying to protect me from?” or “What do you need right now?” Often, just being heard is enough to calm these parts.
Acting from Your True Self:
Your true Self is compassionate, curious, and confident. When you lead from your Self, you’re more likely to make choices that are aligned with your values and long-term well-being.
Here are some signs you’re acting from Self:
You feel calm, even in challenging situations.
You’re open and curious about your feelings and thoughts, rather than judging them.
You’re able to set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty or anxious.
When to Seek Professional Support
While these tools can be incredibly helpful, there may be times when you need more support. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or if certain parts are dominating your life, it might be helpful to work with a therapist trained in IFS and EMDR.
Final Thoughts:
You don’t have to be held hostage by your parts or overwhelmed by your past. By using IFS and EMDR, you can build a deeper understanding of yourself, find more balance in your life, and navigate the world from a place of strength and clarity.
With a little more understanding and compassion for yourself, you can move from just surviving to truly thriving.
No matter how long your parts may have been running your life, you can take back the driving seat. It's never too late.
You deserve to feel whole, balanced, and connected to your true Self.
Remember, the journey to inner peace and balance is a process, and every step you take counts.
If you want to learn more, you can read:
Introduction to Internal Family Systems: A Revolutionary Therapy for Wholeness & Healing: Richard C Schwartz (Author) - 2023
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model: Richard Schwartz (Author) - 2023
Is there a part of you that is eager to heal and learn more? Maybe it's a part that’s tired of being stuck in the same frustrating cycles, or one that’s curious to explore a new way of understanding yourself. If so, it could be the beginning of a powerful shift towards self-awareness and healing. I’d be happy to help you connect with these parts and find the balance you’re seeking.
Book a consultation, and let’s explore how this concept of ‘parts’ can be the key to overcoming the habits and patterns that no longer serve you.
Just email on info@emmasolomonpsychologist.com or use my booking page to contact me.
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