People often come to therapy when their life has gone off track—when they feel like they’re drifting, disappointed, or stuck in a cycle they can’t break free from. This sense of disconnection can show up in various ways: in your feelings, relationships, achievements, life goals, habits, or even in how you see yourself. But what causes this?
In my experience, with every person I’ve worked with, there has been some form of trauma in their past that has caused an “injury.” And by trauma, I don’t just mean what we traditionally think of—like PTSD from war or a major accident. Trauma can be much more subtle and pervasive, affecting us in ways we might not even realize.
Understanding Trauma: It’s More Than Just PTSD
We often associate trauma with dramatic events, like soldiers returning from war or survivors of natural disasters. This is what we call “Big T” trauma—major life-threatening events that have a significant psychological impact. But this isn’t the only kind of trauma that matters.
Most people don’t have classic PTSD but are still affected by past experiences that have shaped their lives in profound ways. This is where the concept of “small t” trauma comes in, and it’s something I see with almost every client. These are the more subtle, yet still deeply impactful, experiences that leave an imprint on our psyche.
The Factory Model of Trauma: How It Affects You Today
Think of your life as a factory. From the moment you were born, the factory has been running, producing thoughts, behaviours, and patterns based on the raw materials of your experiences. When you encounter a traumatic event—big or small—it’s like a defective part entering the production line.
Over time, these defective parts start to influence how the entire factory runs. Maybe you start producing more anxiety, fear, or self-doubt. Perhaps your relationships are affected because these parts alter how you interact with others or how you see yourself. If not addressed, these defects continue to influence the factory’s output, creating ongoing issues in your present life.
The Imprint of Small ‘t’ Trauma
Small ‘t’ trauma refers to those seemingly less significant but still impactful events that can shape your emotional and psychological landscape. This might include:
Being bullied or teased in school.
Workplace bullying or working in a hostile environment.
Childhood adversity, parenting issues, witnessing domestic violence as a child.
Experiencing a betrayal in a close relationship.
Dealing with chronic stress or instability.
These experiences might not stand out as obvious traumas, but they can create lasting injuries to your self-esteem, sense of safety, and self-worth. Over time, these injuries accumulate and start to impact your ability to navigate life in a healthy, fulfilling way.
Are You Stuck in Chronic ‘Flight’ Mode?
Imagine being chased by a predator. In that moment, you’re not thinking about where you’re going—you’re just focused on getting away. Your fight-or-flight response kicks in, flooding you with energy and narrowing your focus to the single task of escape.
Many of us live our lives like this, constantly in “flight” mode, trying to outrun our past pains and traumas. We’re so busy escaping that we lose sight of where we’re going. If you feel like you’re constantly off track, ask yourself: Am I still running from something in my past?
The Past is Present: How Trauma Shapes Your Life
Trauma, whether big or small, doesn’t stay in the past. It stays with you, influencing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors today. You might be trying to fix issues like anxiety, relationship struggles, low self-esteem, or even physical health problems, not realizing that the root cause lies in past experiences that haven’t been fully processed or healed.
In therapy, we often uncover that many current issues are tied to these unhealed injuries. The good news is that by addressing them, we can change the way your factory operates, removing those defective parts and creating a smoother, more fulfilling life.
Healing the Injury: Why Therapy Works
Approaches like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS) are powerful tools for healing these deep-rooted issues. Here’s how they work:
RTT: RTT combines the most effective principles of hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, NLP, and CBT to identify and transform the subconscious beliefs and memories that keep you stuck. It helps to rewrite the mental patterns formed by trauma, allowing you to break free from destructive cycles.
EMDR: EMDR helps your brain reprocess distressing memories, reducing their emotional charge and integrating them into your narrative in a healthier way. It’s particularly effective for both big and small traumas, helping you to let go of the past and stop reliving it in the present.
IFS: IFS helps you understand and heal the different parts of yourself that have been impacted by trauma. It allows you to work with your inner child, protector parts, and wounded parts to restore balance and harmony within, creating a more integrated and resilient self.
Recognizing and Valuing Your Own Suffering
Anything that has caused you pain can be considered a form of trauma. It’s important to never underestimate or devalue your own suffering. Just because others might have faced “worse” doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real or valid.
Your suffering is often the reason you haven’t felt able to rest and enjoy your life in the present. It also holds the key to what’s important to you and how you can move forward in a direction you choose—not just because you’re running from the past.
Moving Forward with Intention
If you feel like your life is off track, consider the possibility that unresolved trauma—big or small—might be the root cause. Therapy can help you process these experiences, heal the injuries, and finally stop running. You don’t have to live in a constant state of flight. You can move forward with intention, clarity, and a sense of peace.
If you’re ready to address the root causes and transform your life, contact me to learn more about how RTT, EMDR, or IFS can help. Let’s work together to release the past and create a future where you feel truly present and alive.
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